f e e l .

Its windy.
and i got wet today.
in the rain.
winter rain.
and i smiled.
maybe this time next year, i'll be too far away to enjoy it.
this time next year, i might be in my dorm thinking about the life i have left behind.
its funny how something as significant as rainfall can make you think of so many things.
make you feel things which you never thought you could feel.

my friends are not like me.
they are different.
or i am different.
i didnt think i would miss being with them, though.
but i found myself buying diaries today.
those diaries which your friends fill before you pass out of school.

i felt like celebrating life today.
i tried to study.
but my mind wandered a bit too much.
into space.
i wanted to savour every moment i have left here.
with the people around me.
i sketched.
i wrote.
and i still am writing.
i dont know why.
neither do i know about what.
i do this when my head feels too heavy.
when i need to talk to someone but cant quite put forth a coherent speech.

winamp is on.

At times life's unfair and you know it's plain to see
Hey God I know I'm just a dot in this world
Have you forgot about me?
Whatever life brings
I've been through everything
And now I'm on my knees again

But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way

i realise that i am a part of the greater picture.
not the wall hidden behind it.